Life's Firsts

First in War, First in Peace, First in the Hearts of His Countrymen. That statement was made about George Washington, if I remember my history correctly. You don't have to be a leader of a great country to have firsts.

Most of us take our 'first steps'. It doesn't matter at what age but unless there is a medical reason we can't, we all take them. Our parents hovering around making sure that we don't fall, smiling from ear to ear. Of course humans are rather slow at walking, since in the wild most animal babies walk and run within hours of birth. Humans wait a lot longer. Once we master those first steps, we really start moving and from then on we toddle, walk and finally run.

We all say our first words. Whether it be mama or dada or bird or whatever. Once again our parents are proud. Even more so if we speak that first word earlier than a niece or nephew. Once we begin talking, the 'firsts' really start coming. Our first day of school, traumatic on various levels for everyone. Reading our first book by ourselves, learning to write.

The world really begins to open up for us. First dance, first date, first love, first rejection. These 'firsts' prepare us for what life has to offer. Show us the things we must learn in order to live in society and all that entails. For when we are children the 'firsts' are all about learning, how fast we learn and how we communicate with others. How we handle the early 'firsts' in our lives prepare us for the 'firsts' that come later.

Our 'first' car. We really feel like adults now, even though we may be still teenagers in real time or in our early twenties. We are mobile, we don't have to rely on our parents to take us anywhere or pick us up. Maybe it is dad's old car because he got a new one but it is our ticket to new adventures and independence.

Our 'first' job. This could have occurred in high school or college as a way to earn money for those things that mom and dad couldn't provide for us, like that new car. It may have been part-time or full-time, but here again, it provided us with freedom. I didn't get my first job until after I had graduated high school. If left to my own devices, I probably wouldn't have gotten one then but since I wasn't going to college I was going to work, my dad's words. My sister worked part-time during high school. She was the extrovert of the family.

Once we become adults, the 'firsts' have less to do with us physically or emotionally, than about what we've accomplished. Our first promotion, first house, etc. While important steps in establishing ourselves as responsible adults and citizens, aren't really about the progression of our learning experience but how we are perceived by others.

Once we get married, then another big first occurs. Our first child. Here is a learning experience that we have not been prepared for. Our parents could guide us through example, the first years of our lives. But raising our own child, is strictly on the job training, or so I've been told. Being childless, I can't say from experience what that feels like. So we draw from what we remember of our parents and our spouse's parents and go forward.

During this period or at some point, we experience another 'first', the death of someone close to us. This could be a classmate, close friend, or even a parent. The first is always the hardest, I believe. I had experienced the loss of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. But nothing prepared me for the feelings that I experienced when I lost my father. I try to remember what was going on at that time but it is all a blur. I remember crying a lot but not much else. My dad was 66 when he died and I was in my late 30's, so I never really got to experience my dad as an adult. All of my memories of him are from my childhood and young adulthood. I missed out on something great and wonderful. I wish I had more time with him, to really get to know him, to understand him.